The Vow I made before I knew Better

I was pregnant with my first child when I first learned about Attachment theory.

I was a wide-eyed eager counselor in training wanting to do everything "right." I made vows to myself about what I would and would not do thinking those vows would be the key to raising the most secure child.

For the person who has quietly wondered if what they experienced counts.

It is the therapist’s relationship to the patient, not the therapist’s interpretations, that heals —Donald Winnicott

Finding the right therapist is less about credentials on paper and more about what happens in the space between two people. Psychoanalytic thinkers have long emphasized that the relationship itself is the treatment, that change unfolds not because a therapist says the “right” thing, but because a client feels emotionally met.

Curiosity is one of the most powerful forces within us. . .

It drives us to ask questions, explore the unknown, and imagine possibilities beyond the safety of what we already know. Yet fear and caution often hold us back, leaving us hesitant to take the first step. Many of us feel torn between our desire to grow and the comfort of staying where we feel safe.